I, Sigh, You, Sigh, We all Sigh....Together

*Sigh*..........I.....Am.......Single..........

I don't think this is a scenerio that just exists with myself. I think it is a collective sigh among many of the single ladies walking this earth. Coming to grips with singlehood has lately become a chore.....maybe even a part-time job in an effort to keep my sanity. I long for a relationship, I long to be loved, I long to feel wanted, I long for affection and I long to not have to do everything by my dayum self! Whew....there I got it out.

For a long time, I was content with being single. I thought it expressed that I was an independent, strong, alpha woman who didn't need anyone or anything..MAN, was I wrong....I do need someone. Not because I'm nothing, because actually I am all that and a fresh bag of chips, but because everybody needs SOMEBODY, not just ANYBODY though. I think that my singleness is becoming more depressing as I am APPROACHING my next birthday, which isn't a milestone birthday, BUT, it's getting close. In two months I will be 37......37 freeking years old....almost 40 *gasp* and I'm .............SINGLE.

Why do I keep harping on being single?.....well, I'm impatient...and I'm anxious....and I can't quite figure out if it's because my Orlando (you know the dude from the movie Diary of A Mad Black Woman) is on his way or if I'm just so ready that I could burst! I think India Arie sang it best "I am ready for love.....WHY, are you running from me?"  Like......WHY??? I have had plenty of time to work on me...and I think...no scratch that I KNOW I've come a long way from my H.H.P (Habitual Heaux Period)....don't act like I'm the only one that had one of those. Albeit long ago, like in my late teens, early twenties I did go through a period where I just didn't care. I had no desire to be in a relationship, no desire to settle down.... I was just out sowing my royal oats..... and then.....I become a Mother and my whole outlook changed on a lot of things. Fast forward 11 years and here I sit today.....SINGLE.

Why do I think I'm single? Well, I'm glad you asked.... for one, while I'm completely about a relationship and settling down with my soul mate and best friend, I'm not foolish. I don't tolerate certain things and I just won't. I mean they're not major things but everybody has preferences. I do think that in black relationships though too much focus is placed on materialistic and superficial things. Black men are visual ( a constant observation) so you can be pretty as a picture and can't boil a pot of water, but you'll get a pass. Ok, that's a whole different topic within itself so let me stick to what I'm talking about right now....wait, what was I talking about?...OH! Why am I single? OK....I have a smart a$$ mouth....so I've been told. I'm witty....sue me. Unfortunately, that's something that won't change. It's my personality, it's who I am. I try to turn it off but can't....when I do, I'm no longer me. You can't please everyone and I don't even try......

One of the biggest reasons I believe I'm single is because there are far too many women in the world....I mean there's just too many, especially in DC, MD and VA. What is the ratio now, like 22:1?....what the hell kinda bull crap is that? Men literally have options and we (women) have so few.....once upon a time it was believed that women choose...I just don't think that's valid anymore. Men have far too many choices.....they can pick one for every day of the week, heck at that ratio, every day of the month! So where does that leave me?.......................Still SINGLE

Let me tell you what pisses me off the most about being single......it's when people who are in relationships, marriages or boo'd up say things like..."It's coming".....oh really? I don't mean any harm, and I know it's meant in the best and sincerest of context but unless you can put a date with that "it's coming" SAVE IT! LOL. The last thing a lonely, frustrated, exasperated single person wants to hear is "it's coming"....I mean, what is even the proper response to that?......................................................... *the blankest of stares*

I have already marked 2012 as The Year Of The Boo....my status is changing this year. I know it is....and if it doesn't.....WELP...guess I'll just invest in some "Single Ladies" T-Shirts or something...




*.......................HEAVY SIGH......................*