Friends.....How many of us have them?

Friends......

Friends are people that are down with you through the thick and thin from beginning to end and all things in between. They support you, love you and challenge you (healthy challenges of course). They applaud your successes and help you through your defeats. They laugh with you, cry with you and encourage you. They are your rock...your angels here on earth.

I have to be careful how I write this because I'm not here to step on toes or expose, but rather enlighten and tell you what friendship means to me. I have a very small circle of  FRIENDS. I know people, quite a few people actually, but I can't necessarily place them in the friend category. Friendship to me is sacred. It takes a lot for me to open up to someone, so when I do, I give of myself totally and completely. My friends get the unadulterated me. The one that doesn't always have on a cape and appears to be invincible, because unlike Karyn White...I'm not your superwoman. I'm human and I crumble just like everyone else but not everyone gets to be privy to that. My friends are the ones that I share my secrets, my fears, my heartaches, headaches and DRAMA. The one's I call when I want to have an all out "BitchFest" and give me something to laugh about. Even the strongest of people need someone to be their strength now and again.

Friendship is key to any relationship....Whodini sang about it, hence the title of this post..."Friends...how many of us have them? Friends...the ones we can DEPEND on? "....the bible speaks about calling a friend someone who sticks closer than a brother...now that's deep when you think about it because your blood relatives are supposed to be the strongest, tightest bond you could ever have (but that's not always the case). The dictionary defines a friend as a person that is attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard a supporter and person who gives assistance.I think I encompass those things, however in order to have friends  you must first show yourself FRIENDLY. Now there's the catch for me, I'm not always friendly. Matter of fact, I can be down right rude and obnoxious. But when the RAM in me subsides and I put my horns away, I'm as harmless as a pussy cat. Some people though were never made to have friends or be friends. I don't fault them, they just don't know how to or are too selfish to want to learn.....how dreadful.

Most of my friends I know for long periods of time. I meet people and we usually remain pretty tight. I rarely fall out with people and people rarely fall out with me. It's happened though and that's cool. We fulfilled our time and season in each other's lives and moved on. Some of my friends live far away and I don't get to spend time with them very often or communicate with them like I should. But , I assume they know where they stand.  When we get around each other though, it's all love.

My best friend and I have known each other since I was 5 and she was 3....we are both in our mid 30's now and the love I have for her is deep. She is the one that has taught me what friendship is all about. We don't have a perfect friendship, I don't think that exists, but we're damn near close to it. Don't put us in a room together and not expect to laugh your head off or shake your head at our antics. It's a genuine friendship, one in which we don't have to talk everyday (but we usually do, through some communication device), where we can allow others to experience a piece of the friendship we share and not get jealous about it ( I do have the best friend title on lock and I'll fight anybody for it, I don't care who it is...LOL, just kidding....kind of...no I am , I am , I am...kidding that is). We can agree to disagree on a subject, express our thoughts/feelings and move on. We can be silent in a room and watch a TV show (like "The Wire:" series on DVD). We can use "BFF Eyes:" ...want me to tell you what that is? That's when you look at each other and know EXACTLY what the other is thinking without saying a word. We can also appreciate our differences without letting it effect our friendship. Seriously? Who would help you at your lowest point, not judging you for a bad decision you've made, but rather willing you to achieve your best by simply offering a place to lay your head , while trying to will your next move into  your best move and giving up their house key with a simple "take as long as you need" no questions asked. Now, that's a FRIEND.

The reason that I wanted to blog about this subject is that I'm slowly beginning to realize, that as I get older, I've noticed that the "FRIEND" rules have changed. I blame it on social networking, making us lazy in the way we communicate. We nonchalantly send text messages, emails, tweets, FB statuses and wall posts. I think I've become immune to the telephone. I don't like talking on it, not as much as I used to. I find myself rushing off the phone...why? No clue. Some things I feel warrant phone calls, though. I also notice that we drift off into the everyday hustle and bustle of our lives and get caught up in what we're doing that we kind of let the people near and dear to us wander off to the wayside. Also, we get in our feelings and make up stuff in our minds to make us not want to reach out to people. Have you ever gotten mad at someone and forget the whole reason of what you're mad about? Yep....been there. That means it was silly and nothing to fret over in the first dayum place. We do have to remember though that old adage that says "tomorrow is not promised" and in this day and age, that is becoming more and more evident. Look at the loss of great people in recent months. I've lost two great friends to death, at such young ages and both times I was in other parts of the country. That makes me sad, so very sad..... I also feel most things we fret about are results of MISCOMMUNICATION. "He Say, She Say"....but what exactly did "I" say? Hmmmm....think about it. This is an area that I need to work on. Not so much the assumption of things, I rarely assume, I just let things play themselves out.....and they play themselves the way they are meant to be...the part I need to work on is the going in my cocoon and being comfortable there. Believe me, I know about alone time...and ME time...and periods of being selfish, I've been there, but the thing about it is, you have to come out of it and when you do, you're going to be looking for your friends...you know the one's that understood why you disappeared in the first place, so don't push them too far away.

One thing I'm notorious for is cutting people off and not batting an eye. It's not because I don't have feelings,  because I do. I just don't dwell...If someone doesn't like me, or no longer wants to be around me...to each his/her/their own. Am I going to evaluate what I've done and wonder why? Don't wait on it....is that rude? Perhaps...but I have my OWN issues to worry about. Worrying about whether or not someone talks to me, when I know I've done nothing wrong and said person has never communicated to ME the wrong I've done...why should I worry about it? It most definitely is water under London's bridge honey.......take note: The issue clearly lies with YOU. I come from the land of K.I. M...."Keep It Moving"....one monkey doesn't stop a show, but they sure do make it entertaining! LOL

Let us not forget that friendship is a two way street. It takes both parties willing to make it work. I call you, you call me. I text you, you text me. I email you, you email me back....it's not one person giving all and the other just floating along for the ride, not putting forth any effort. That's baggage...and I'm no bag lady. I've met people that have taken advantage of me...well, ,maybe they didn't but it sure felt that way. Not taking advantage of my kindness, but more so of my time, my support, my willingness to hear about DRAMA...their drama..not mine. You know the two way street thing. What I've also learned is that as long as you are supporting and down for people and what THEY want to do..they are all in. When you stop....they are ghost (like Casper....but even he was friendly).

I guess the short of it is simple. ..BE THE FRIEND THAT YOU WANT OTHER'S TO BE TO YOU. Especially females, because we can be catty.  In other words, follow your own lead. We can only blame so much on PMS, astrological signs and pre-menopause/menopause.

I'm OUT....like a light when you leave the room

Until~

The Rundown

There's a lot going on in my world. From being totally devasted by this whole Trayvon Martin travesty of a situation to completing (and sticking to) this 24 day cleanse and restore challenge. Not to mention being brought up on charges of "blog abandonment" (does that exist tho?)....

Let's start with the circus that has become the Trayvon Martin case. If you do not know what I'm talking about then perhaps you should stop living under a rock, turn on the news, ride a twitter wave or a facebook status and catch up. To summarize...Trayvon Martin was the young man killed in Sanford, FL by an armed "Neighborhood Watch", twice his size whom claims he felt "threatened" and was "beaten up" by said victim. The kicker? Trayvon is dead and the bama is still walking free. Now, no matter how many times I hear the story, how many different ways it's told, the bottom line is a homicide took place and there was not an arrest made and still HAS not been an arrest made. Ok. let me stop talking about it (as my blood pressure rises).

Another thing I wanted to touch on was RSVP's.....so, this is not a slight to anyone in particular, but I feel like RSVP'ing has gone out of the window. When an invitation is extended, usually it's courteous to send a response. Whether that response is "Yay" or "Nay", whether you think you can, or you think you can't ...Reply (That is ALL)...

Now, let's get to the good stuff. I, for the first time in my life, started something and finished it!!! YAY ME. That is a tremendous feat considering I am more "fickle than a pickle". I took the challenge of a 10 day cleanse and 14 day probiotic restore that demanded that I eat "Clean" (clean meeans not eating anything remotely good, with flavor, well, slight flavor). But I did it. I drank tons of water, took the required herbal supplements, ate salads, tuna, grilled chicken, salmon, tilapia, brown rice and had no sugar, sweets, junk food, fast food or anything and got with the gym at least 3 times a week and let me tell you, I feel GREAT! I think I have lost mass, this is just the beginning though. I'm sticking to it, because I have caught a glimpse of the skinn-ty girl that I once was and the diva is trying to come back, w/ a vengence! The main reason why I did it was because I was starting to feel unhealthly (there goes one of my made up words) FAT. Knees and feet were hurting, I was getting out of breath (and I had the nerve to live on the 3rd floor) and just always tired and miserable. I tried something called advocare (shameless plug time) of which was introduced to me by my boy Aaron. It's not bad....and if you want to clean your system out, holler at him! Yes, it costs...and you can do the same things for free, but I had to get something that would jumpstart and motivate me and I'm just that!!!

Lastly, the 37th birthday is on the horizon. No hoopla, no countdown, no plans, no man, no date, not much of anything, but I'm alive....I'm healthy, I have my FRIENDS, my big little dude and I'm blessed. God is good, don't you forget it! With so many people not living to see another day, I'm thankful for every day, every minute. I have my moments, I can't say I never complain because I do, but I find the strength to carry on because I cry out JESUS. I may not always do the right thing, or say the right thing, but HE's never left me...I could run right now...things could be better, they will get better and they're on the way to being better.

Take that!!! A tic tock and ya don't stop~

Peace, we out!